Purgatory
by Mellina Leigh
Summary: On September 15th, I wrote him a quick note. "I'm sorry for everything. I love you Kaoru, please don't hate me." Hikaru has commited suicide, only he hasn't left. Inspired by The Lovely bones.


She had was gone. She didn't want me.

Those were the thoughts that came to mind when I thought of Haruhi. I had taken my anger out on Kaoru one night.

"Hikaru...? You know I'm here for you to talk if you need it." Kaoru had said, hugging me close.

I turned on him inraged. I pushed him down onto the bed. "You wanna know what I need?" I yelled at him.

His horror struck eyes brimmed with tears as I forced his pajama pants off, then his underware. He started to begged me to stop, but...I just couldn't. I had no thoughts as I entered him.

But, even though it pains me to remember...he did seem like he was in pleasure, and so was I.

After that though, he was to afraid to come near me. As was everyone else. My life was ruiened.

And I knew why.

On September 15th, I had made it home before Kaoru. I wrote him a quick note.

"I'm sorry for everything. I love you Kaoru, please don't hate me."

I held the pistole to my head and waited for my finger to pull the but it just wouldn't. I haddn't noticed the door to our bedroom open until I heard Kaoru scream. My hands tightened out of fear. Last thing I saw was Kaoru's crying face next to mine as he begged me to stay alive.

It was dark, and cold. I was crying hard, calling out for Kaoru. But no one was around.  
I was walking into what I could only guess is the path to hell. I stopped for a second, and looked behind me. Was that church there a minute ago?

Frantically, I ran to it and pushed open the doors, still calling for my brother. People were standing around conversing with each other. Most of which was my family. I searched the crowd and noticed in a different room Kaoru sat with his face in his hands. I felt realived that he was safe.

I made my way to his side and sat down on the bench next to him. I put an arm around his shoulders. "Kaoru...Are you mad at me?" He didn't answer. "Kaoru?"

He sobbed and looked up, but not to me, to a coffin that sat in front of us. I swollowed hard and starred at it. I knew what it was just by it's sight. I looked to Kaoru in despiration. "Kaoru! Kaoru! No! I'm not dead! I'm not! I'm right here! SEE?"

Kaoru burried his face into his hands again and sobbed. "Why? Why did you do it?"

"Kaoru...I-..."

"How could you? You left me here! Alone...I loved you...You fool! I loved you...  
And I-...I shouldn't had forced you away...I just let Haruhi hurt you. And I didn't even-..! I'm such an idiot!" He cried.

I hugged him, even if he couldn't feel it, I refused to let go. It was more or so a comfort to me to be able to at least touch him. "Kaoru...it's not your fault...It's mine. I ruiened us. I'm sorry...I'm sorry I did this to you...I loved you too..."

Then he was gone, and I was alone again. I sat on the pitch black floor and curled up into a ball and cried. I could hear argueing. It sounded like Tamaki and Kyoya. I looked up and noticed that I had somehow floated into Tamaki-senpai's room.

He was curled up on his bed crying. I stood up and walked curiously over to his bed and sat on the edge.

"Senpai?"

He sniffled and looked at a picture of him and Kyoya-senpai. He threw it across the room and cried harder.

I glanced at it and smiled. It looked like a first date picture. That made me slightly happy to know they had fallen in love. Bought time anyways.

His phone went off and Tamaki flipped it open. He glanced at the text then began to cry loudly.

"What's wrong?" I asked before looking at it.

-To Tamaki-  
8:30pm, September 24th -From Kyoya-

-Look Tamamki, I can't keep up this stupid relationship! You can't always have your way!  
I don't care if your father is disowning you or not! I can't give up on my family like you can! Don't come to the club tomarrow or I swear to God I'll lose it! Got it?-

I looked away from the text feeling a pang of pain in my chest. Then I noticed Tamaki-senpai sitting next to me with a bottle of Niquel. My eyes widdened, fearful.

"S-Senpai...Don't..." Tears comming to my eyes. "Please...don't..."

He tilted his head back. "Forgive me you guys...but...If Kyoya isn't with me in my future,  
then my life has no happiness...I'm sorry..." Then he lifted the bottle to his lips and choaked down the bottle of medicine.

I started screaming at him. The bottle fell to the floor, and he went white as a sheet, before flopping back agenst the covers.

"No! Senpai! Senpai don't you dare die on me!" I cried trying to shake him. I tried to push on his stomach, hopeing that my hands would be able to push it back up. But sadly, I was only a mere ghost. What could I do?

I got up and paced around the room crying so hard I was dizzy and shaking. The panic and desperality making my mind race wildly.

"Dear God...Dear God...Kyoya, he needs you!" I kept repeating. Then I heard a soft whimper.

I turned to the bed and felt a wave of joy to see Tamaki-senpai rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Mmn...Hikaru? Is that you?" He asked looking at me directly.

Oh no...

"Hikaru? It is you!" He exclaimed excitedly, racing to me and throwing his arms around me. "I thought you were dead!"

I starred at his limp body that was on the bed. "We are..."

"What?" He asked. He glanced over his shoulder at his body. "Oh my God...Are we?"

"Ghosts?" I sighed clinging to his arm for support. "Yeah...I think we are...I-...I tired to save you senpai. But...I couldn't..."

Tamaki looked at me confused. "But...aren't you lonely here?"

Truth be told, I had been lonely. "I guess..."

He smiled cheerfully. "Don't worry Hikaru. We can keep each other company. And thas\nk you for trying to save me."

The door to the room flung open and Kyoya rushed in followed by Mori and Honey-senpai. Kyoya rushed to Tamaki's side, and he shook him.

"Tamaki? Tamaki!" He cried wildly. "Wake up damn it!"

We looked at each other, then back at the scene.

"Damn it! You can't die on me!" Kyoya screamed. Then he attempted CPR. I glanced at the clock.

"Tamaki...You've been dead for an hour..."

Tamaki glanced at the clock. "Then...I won't be comming back." He sounded a little sad. Then he turned to the window. "Come on...Let's go."

I hesitated and watched Kyoya hugg Tamaki close. "No..."He whispered. "I love you..." I felt sympathy and hurt from this, but turned and followed Tamaki.

It had been moments to us, but to the world, it was a month. I could hear crying surrounding me.

"Senpai...I think that's Kaoru..."I said, taking the lead in the darkness. "Come on!"

We ran forward and came to a door. We both stepped through it and found ourselves in a hospital room. Kaoru sat on an examination table crying.

I felt my chest grow tight, and I slowly made it to his side. I laied my head on his shoulder.  
"Kaoru? What's wrong?" I asked in a whisper.

He was shaking. I wrapped my arms around him, wishing I could keep him warm. Honey-senpai was seated next to him. He was gently rubbing his arms, like I was.

"How...? How could Hikaru just leave me...then THIS?" Kaoru sobbed.

"I don't know Kao-chan...but, maybe Hikaru's spirit is within you, and maybe, that's why you're pregnant." Honey-senpai said.

I looked at Kaoru, my breath hitching in my throat. "You're...pregnant?" I asked, completly stunned, I looked at Tamaki, who was smiling brightly and was excitedly congradulating me.  
"Shut it!" I growled at him. "This is bad...Kaoru is helpless without me...now he is stuck with my child! And he won't have me there to protect him, or tell him it'll be alright!" I was crying now.

Kaoru gently touched his stomach. "I wish I was dead!" He choaked out.

"Don't say that Kao-chan!" Honey had started crying as well. "I don't wanna think about loseing another friend!"

Kaoru sobbed and hugged his stomach. "I miss Hikaru! I want to be with him again!"

"And what of the child he helped you create? It wants to see him too!" Honey yelled at Kaoru, making him flintch.

I gently reached down and touched Kaoru's stomach. He stiffened as if he could feel me.

"Shh...Shh...Kaoru. It'll be alright. We'll be together soon enough...but you've got to protect the baby first. If you promise me this, then I know we'll be together soon enough." I whispered burring my face into Kaoru's shoulder.

He turned his face twards me and then he gently reached up and touched my face.

"Honey-senpai...I-I can feel him!" Kaoru sobbed, rubbing my cheek. "Hikaru! Hikaru's right here!"

Honey-senpai shook his head. "No Kao-chan...he's not. Let's get you home now. Kay?" He said, leading him away.

Tears slid down Kaoru's cheeks, but they weren't of sadness, they were of joy. He had seen me,  
felt me, and heard me. And it made me cry out of happiness. I sank back to the pitch black floor on my knees and I whept.

Tamaki knelt beside me and gently rubbed my back. "Hikaru...?"

I smiled up at him, whipping my eyes with the back of my hand. "It's okay...He saw me...  
It'll be alright. He knows I'm here now..."

Kaoru sat on the floor of his room. He looked so good for being 5 months pregnant already. To his left of the small circle sat Mori-senpai, to his right sat Honey-senpai. Kyoya was outside the circle in a chair. He had a notebook open and he tapped a pen axiously. I sat inbetween Kaoru and Mori,  
while Tamaki sat on the other side of Kaoru. In the middle of the circle was a widdgy board.

"Now if this works, Hikaru and Tamaki will be able to comunicate with us!" Kaoru said excitedly.  
He placed two fingers gently on the widdgy. Mori and Honey did the same.

I gently put my hand ontop of theirs.

Kaoru took a deep breath. "Is anyone there?"

"Yes..." I answered.

The widggy moved to the 'yes' on the board. Kyoya took notes.

Kaoru smiled. "Is this Hikaru and, or Tamaki I'm speaking to?"

"Yes." I said. Happy to see the widggy spell out my answewr.

"Is this Hikaru?" There was some slight pain to Kaoru's voice.

"Yes, both Tamaki and I are here." I answered.

Tears welled up in Kaoru's eyes, rubbing his stomach lightly.

"Do you want to continue?" Honey-senpai asked gently to Kaoru, who nodded.

"How are you baby?" I asked.

"I miss you Hikaru..." Kaoru hiccuped.

I wrapped my arms around him. "I know sweet heart...I know...I'm proud of you for keeping the baby."

Kaoru hiccuped again, then he lowered his head and sobbed.

Honey desided to take control of the situation. "Hikaru, where are you sitting?"

"Between Mori and Kaoru. I'm hugging Kaoru trying to calm him down. My head is resting on his shoulder."

Kaoru looked right at me, I glanced over at Tamaki who fidgeted. He was in Kyoya's lap, burring his face into his neck, trying not to cry.

"Right now, Tamaki is in Kyoya's lap, hiding his face in his neck, trying not to cry."

The group looked at Kyoya, who seemed to have lost his breath. Kyoya lifted a shaking hand to his neck. His hand fell gently onto Tamaki's shoulder. Then his other arm wrapped around Tamaki's waist.

"I-...I can feel him...Guys...he's right here..." Kyoya whispered, tears fell down his face.

"I know...me too." Kaoru whispered, snuggling agenst me. I kissed his cheek.

"I promise you Kaoru, I promise I'm always beside you."

Honey looked up to Kaoru. "He says that he promises that he'll always be beside you."

"I know you will..." Kaoru whispered.

"Tamaki...I'm comming after you." Kyoya whispered. We all looked at him in shock.

"What?" Honey-senpai shreaked.

"I can't live without him! I hope...you guys can understand..." Kyoya said, hugging Tamaki's waist.

Before Honey-senpai could testify, Kaoru nodded. "I understand..."

"Me too..." Mori said, reaching across the board and gently squeezing Honey-senpai's hand.  
"I wouldn't want to live either if Mitskuni was dead..."

Kyoya stood up silently and walked out of the house. Tamaki followed. I staied next to Kaoru while Honey weeped into Mori's chest.

"Guys...Hikaru hasn't left yet." Kaoru whispered.

Honey looked at Kaoru, still pressed firmly to Mori's chest. "Huh? You sure?"

I moved the widdgy with my foot. "Yeah...I'm still here...Tamaki followed Kyoya to make sure he makes it here safely to us."

"What's it like on that side Hikaru?" Kaoru asked.

"Well...when I was alone, it was dark and cold. Tamaki has brought a little light and warmth to it.  
I'm able to see more into the next world because Tamaki-senpai is here with me."

"What will happen when we all move on to that place?" Kaoru asked calmly as I rubbed his stomach.

"I think...When all of us are here, and can feel no more pain, then we'll be able to move on to heaven."

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw Tamaki holding hands with Kyoya.

"Kyoya's here..." I whispered.

Honey began to wail again.

"I've gotta go sweetie...I'll see you soon..."

The three of us were no longer in the cold dark, now we were under a pretty blue sky. The air had begun to warm up. If we came to a mirror we could see into the world. I would always sit under a cherry blossom tree and watch Kaoru.

He spent most of his time alone. He'd gaze out the window late at night, rubbing his ever growing stomach, till he'd fall asleep. His grades had plumitted. The doctor had him on anti-depresants. And my dad had put a gun to his own head giving up on life. He blammed me for all of their misfortune. I didn't care,  
so long as I could watch Kaoru sleep in the sunlight. Listening to the music I, in ghost form, was controlling.

People had begun to call him crazy behind his back. He had taken up an intrest in the occult so long as he could feel me beside him. I was worried about him, always.

However, it lightened my spirits when Kaoru would sing to his stomach, or when he'd talk to the air.

"Hikaru...The baby's kicking again." He would say. Then he'd point out where. "It feels so weird."

He would whisper about his day, or what he was thinking. I'd listen. Only wishing that I could hug him close to me again.

Then came a day I watched Kaoru fall asleep, and soon, I too was asleep.

"Hikaru! Hikaru wake up!" Tamaki yelled at me.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes tiredly. "What is it now?" I asked.

"It's Honey and Mori! Come on!" Tamaki said panicing. I grabbed the mirror of Kaoru and ran after the blonde.  
The sky had become dark with stars glowing brightly. A full moon hung in the sky.

We came to a giant mirror.

The scene was horrid. They both laied on the concrete. Honey was nuzzled protectivly in Mori's arms, even though neither of them seemed to be alive. They were bloody and pale. The date was March 13th.

I turned to Kyoya. "What happened?" I asked.

Kyoya shook his head. "Robbers...They...They got caught in some cross fire, and...Mori tried to protect Honey-senpai, but they just..."

The three of us sat on our knees infront of the mirror and cried quietly for our friends.

"Why are you guys crying for?" Honey's voice came from behind. We all tunred to see him smiling cheerfully from Mori's shoulder.

Tamaki hugged them and stated how he was just sad that they didn't survive the bullet wounds.

Kyoya smiled and nudged my arm lightly. "Guess you were right Hikaru. We can't move on till we're all here."  
He got up and joinded the others. They stated how they were going to go to a beach that Tamaki found.

"You guys go on. I'll catch up later." I said.

I made my way to the cherry blossome tree and took out the mirror that let me see Kaoru.

He was gazing out the window at the rain. I smiled.

"Hikaru...Are they with you now? I hope they made it to you alright. The baby is due any day now, and I'm kinda scared. I miss you more and more each day, you know. Mom is thinking about putting me in the looney bin. She just doesn't understand. I keep telling her I'm only alive to birth our child. But she doesn't even listen. She usually pluggs her ears and sings loudly." Kaoru shivered slightly.

I gently breathed a hot breath onto the mirror. He sighed contently.

"I know you're watching over me. I always feel your protective gaze over me. Ever once in a while,  
I hear a piano playing, and I could almost swear it's Tamaki-senpai playing the piano. I see you guys sometimes in my dreams. You guys are in a beautiful feild of grass alot. I sometimes see you alseep under a cherry blossome tree hugging a mirror. Is that how you see me?" He asked gently tracing patterns across his swollen stomach.

"I listen to the music you play for me. I always find myself crying though. I really miss you...I want to be where you are. And feel your arms around me. I miss your warmth...and smile...they way you get when ever you saw some creeper watching me. I miss that about you. Hikaru, I-AHHN!" Kaoru stopped his monologg and gripped his stomach in pain.

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "Kaoru! Kaoru! Are you alright?" I screamed at the mirror.

"Ahh...Shit! That really hurt!" Kaoru said recoiling.

"Kaoru! Go get mom! NOW!" I was panicing. I stood up and ran from the tree. I passed the beach.

Tamaki stopped me. "Whoah, whoah, whoah...Hikaru, where are you-?"

"Kaoru went into labor!" I said, dropping the mirror and running like hell. I followed my feet. My instinct.

Suddenly, I was in darkness again. I could hear moans of pain. Kaoru.

I followed the noises till I came to a hospital. I ran through the halls.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! Where are you?" I called out.

"Ugh! Hikaru!" I heard a cry from a room. I bolted into the room to find Kaoru in a bed. His face contorted in pain. A doctor and nurse helping him. My mother was no where in sight.

I rushed to his side and grabbed his hand. He clung to it for dear life.

"Kaoru, if you can hear me, I'm right here for you!" I yelled.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru whispered tears comming to his eyes. He squeezed my hand tightly.

"Now Kaoru, you need to push now alright?" The nurse said.

"Hikaru...I'm scared..." He muttered.

"I know...but you've gotta do this..." I said, putting my forehead to his.

Kaoru's face contorted in pain as he pushed with all his might.

"S-Slow down , or you'll hurt yourself..." The nurse informed.

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter..." He panted.

He pushed again, the nurse bit her lip and shook her head. "You're really tearing yourself up. Please,  
just, let's slow it down some so you don't loose anymore blood."

"I don't care...I just...Need to get this over with...AHNN!" Kaoru whimmpered.

"Kaoru...Maybe you should listen..." I whispered.

He pushed again till there was a tiny cry.

Kaoru was tired, but held our son tightly in his arms.

I kissed his forehead. "Can you still hear me?" I asked.

"Yes." Kaoru whispered.

"He's beautiful, just like you." I smiled, gently rubbing the child's cheek. "You did so good sweetie..."

"His name is...I want it to be Shi..." Kaoru whispered. He was getting weaker by the second.

"Death? Why?" I asked confused.

"Because...I have a feeling...we both won't last the night..." Kaoru whispered.

"Don't say that!" I said, putting a finger to his lips.

"It's true...Neither of us will...Besides...I'll get to be with you..." He whispered. Kaoru was gasping for breath. The nurse stepped back into the room.

"...Are you sure you don't want us to help you? This may be your last chance to live." She asked.

"No...I'm ready to die. I should've died over eight months ago along side my twin brother...but I stayed alive to have his child...And now that I have, I'm ready to pass on." He spoke softly to the nurse.

"I understand. What shale I tell your mother when she arrives and finds you dead?" She asked, with a sad expression.

"Tell her...that Kaoru's heart was too broken, and he lost the will to live after the baby was born dead."  
Kaoru said smiling down apon the child that was now lossening it's grip on his shirt. Kaoru was panting.

"Dieing of blood loss must be agony..." She muttered before crossing the dimly lite room to Kaoru's side.

"No...Because...I can, see my brother...more..and more. He's still...next to me...like he promised..."  
Kaoru's voice was a raspy whisper now.

Tears welled up in my eyes. "Oh Kaoru..."

"Then he's a good big brother." The nurse smiled slightly.

"Yes...he is...but...he makes...for a...better lover..." He smiled.

His time was close. He was growing paler, and his eyes were starting to close.

"He...he's waiting for us...Shi-kun...You're father...is...waiting..." He whispered.

Then Kaoru was gone.

I leaned in and gently kissed his forehead. Then I kissed the baby's forehead.

He was gone as well.

The nurse looked down at our child. "Poor thing...Without your momma, you didn't want to live either...huh?"

I stepped away from the scene. My mind set on finding Kaoru now. I made my way back to the tree,  
my heart knowing exactly where to find him. And sure enough. He was laying under the cherry blossome tree, his arms wrapped protectivly around a small toddler. I walked up to them and gently brushed Kaoru's bangs from his eyes.

Kaoru's eyes opened slowly. He looked up at me.

"Hikaru?" He asked.

I nodded. "Hey sweet heart..."

"Hikaru!" He threw his arms around me. I pulled him as close to me as I could manage.

We both cried and held onto each other, dareing not to let go. His warmth was comforting.

Then a soft yawn broke the silence. I looked to the little toddler next to us.

He had our orange hair color, and pale skin, our big golden eyes. His features were soft like Kaoru's, yet he seemed mishevious like myself.

He sat up and blinked at us then squeezed between us as we hugged. "Mommy! Daddy!" He squealed happily.

I smiled. "Hey Kaoru...I have a better name for our son..."

"Oh really?" Kaoru asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Shiki. It sounds better." I smiled.

Shiki smiled. "I like it!"

Then there was a quakeing feeling surrounding me.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru asked confused, and scared, gripping my arm.

I fell backwards into darkness.

I opened my eyes to see Kaoru's tear covered face. "Hikaru!" He cried out.

I studied his face for a moment. "Kaoru?"

He threw his arms around me. "Oh Hikaru! What were you thinking?"

"Huh...? What's going on?" I asked.

Kaoru looked me dead on. "Don't you remember? You tried to kill yourself! But when you heard me scream,  
you removed the gun from your head and you shot yourself in the stomach. Remember?"

I shook my head. "No...it was my head...I was dead! I know it!" I looked around the room and noticed I was in a hospital bed. The calender on the wall was marked for September 24th.

"No Hikaru...you didn't die." Kaoru whispered.

I sat up more. "Kaoru...what time is it?"

"7:30 pm. Why?" He asked.

"Give me your cell phone..." I demanded.

I grabbed it from him and dialed the first number that came to mind.

"Hello?" Kyoya answered.

"Listen Kyoya, get to Tamaki's asap! This is important!" I yelled at him.

"What do you mean? What's wrong with him?" Kyoya asked.

"Just trust me on this, you need to get there! If you don't he'll do something really stupid!" I said, then I hung up.

We had made it there on time. Kyoya had smacked the bottle out of Tamaki's hand right before he could finish it,  
then Kyoya managed to get Tamaki to throw it all back up. Saving his life.

I had bought a pregnancy test for Kaoru, and sure enough, he was pregnant. I purposed to him and we were happily married the following month.

On March 13th, the day Honey and Mori was suppossed to die, I stalled them just long enough to keep them out of harms way.

Kyoya and Tamaki got married on March 20th, and during the reception, Tamaki announced that he was also pregnant.

I had a new meaning in my life. And his name was Kaoru.

On May 8th, Kaoru went into labor. After being there for him to the end, he birthed twins. The first, a little boy,  
he named Hanabusa. The second, a little girl, I got to name.

I gazed out the window at the cherry blossomes. "Sakura..."

"That's beautiful...How'd you deside that?" Kaoru asked.

I shrugged. "Just...something from a dream."

Kaoru smiled and cuddled the baby girl in his arms. I leaned in close and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"When I was in the hospital, I had a dream...A dream that confused me. But the cherry blossome tree would let me peek into that fake reality and watch over you. But, in that dream, we only had a son.  
So Sakura is my link between that fake world, and this one...That's why I like it." I whispered.

Kaoru kissed my forehead. "That's very poetic...I like it." He kissed my neck.

I smiled, nuzzling his shoulder. "I wouldn't do that if I were you...I might just lose control and mount you infront of our new born children."

He snuggled close, keeping our twins between us. "Same old Hikaru...You idiot. But, I love you."

"And I love you." I whispered, falling asleep in our bed, our two children between us.

-END-


End file.
